I’ve been sick off and on for the past couple weeks with some sort of gross, mouth-breathing cold-like virus so while I whine about it, it seemed a good time to put things in perspective and be glad I don’t have E.coli…..Again.
No really, it’s true. I had E.coli. And if I could go back in time I’d ask Chef Poopyfingers to please wash his fucking hands after itching his sweaty shit covered balls. But I can’t.
I think the title of this one speaks for itself so let’s jump right on in (keep in mind we’re talking small-ish here; think the sad, very attainable dreams of a girl who’s been living paycheck to paycheck forfuckingever):
Continue reading “Unnecessary Shit I Would Do If I Was Independently Wealthy”
I think we can all agree there’s nothing more entertaining than making fun of the female species’ collective love of fall. I think we can also agree that it is my duty to the world to post about it.
Here’s the thing about girls: they’re romantic ding dongs who love clothing and puppies and oversharing thoughts that could easily remain in their heads and gel manicures and shiny stuff or matte finishes, depending on the trend, and thinking they’re independent until something needs fixing or is heavy and acting overly surprised and excited when they bump into each other somewhere unexpected.
And fall. Girls love fucking fall. But what they actually love more than fall is TALKING INCESSANTLY ABOUT THEIR INSATIABLE LOVE FOR FALL.
Let’s break this shit down: